Love + Sex, Love

4 ways my future husband will definitely be a feminist

Terms of agreement are absolutely non-negotiable.

I’ve been obsessed with the idea of getting married for roughly 10 years now. And over time, my list of requirements that my husband should meet has only grown to be more elaborate and, according to some of my friends, less realistic.

Nonetheless, in case anyone needed inspiration on which qualities they should look for in a life partner, I have very helpfully provided my list.

So here it is, in all its glory.

1. He should be willing to do more than half of the housework, including cooking.

I’ve never been a very domestic person: my room is almost never tidy and my laundry and dishwashing habits are less-than-stellar (read: bordering on unhygienic). I don’t see that changing anytime soon (or ever, more realistically) so my husband has to make up for my lack of enthusiasm in housekeeping.

Oh and I don’t hate cooking, as long as I don’t have to do it every day – so my husband better enjoy rustling up a nice meal, if we are not to die of starvation or obesity from eating out every day.

2. He has to be a sensitive, patient, and feminist new-age man.

I’m not having any of the traditional male-breadwinner shiz, so I would expect my husband to be extremely supportive of my career ambitions, to be willing to move if my job demands it, and to not have a problem with me working long hours or earning more than him. In short, he must not possess a stereotypical male ego as we know it, otherwise he might as well be a copy of Cosmo: I’m not even looking at him.

Also, as people who’ve lived with me know, I can be quite a handful – so he has to be patient enough not to scream every time I take half an hour to select a shampoo brand or decide to have an endless debate over whether or not Olivia Pope should keep loving Fitz (she shouldn’t).

3. He has to understand and fully support my views about having children.

Which are as follows: I haven’t yet decided whether or not I want to go through the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth, and the thankless task that parenting can be. That said, my husband has to understand that it is me who will have the last word over whether or not we will have a child- not him. The reason is quite simple: will he have to go through nine months of agony? Will suffer through hellish contractions before having his body ripped into two? If the answer to any of the above is no, then he does not deserve to have an equal say in the matter.

[bctt tweet=”The reason is quite simple: will he have to go through nine months of agony? ” username=”wearethetempest”]

In case we do decide to make the mistake of becoming parents, he better be ready to take at least three months of paternity leave, and if that is not an option, vacation leave. Final note, since I would’ve gone through the aforementioned torture that I will probably never recover from – a.k.a. pregnancy and childbirth – it is only fair for my child to have my last name (only) as opposed to my husband’s (never saw the point of that anyway).

4. He has to be liberal, in every sense of the term.

That includes, but is not limited to: not partaking in body-policing, which means he will see no point in telling me what to wear if I’m not doing the same back to him. He will not shove religion down my throat. He will have a mind of his own, with substantial opinions that he will not be afraid to voice. He will be open-minded enough to dismiss conventional standards of beauty: he will not care about media-fueled or societal perceptions of what makes a woman attractive.

[bctt tweet=”He will not shove religion down my throat. He will have a mind of his own.” username=”wearethetempest”]

He will also be sensible enough to realize that physical attributes are but the tip of the iceberg when choosing a life partner- ultimately, it’s my personality, my opinions and my worldview that will influence his decision to marry me- not my looks.

So that’s it for the time being. There’s still a long time to go before I will actually reach a marriageable age, so this list is bound to be revised and improved over the years to come.

Hey, a girl can dream, right?