Gender & Identity, Life

10 basically foolproof ways to know if you’re Mauritian

The lighter she is, the more beautiful, obviously. Keep your intellect, sass, and dark skin to yourself.

It’s a place that people long to visit, and can’t get enough of when they do. But how much do you know about its residents, who are essentially a bunch of people originating from a few neighboring countries thrown together*? Are you one of them? Here’s the only way to find out.

1. You love to gossip. 

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Straight up, this is what happens when you put 1.3 million randos on an island in the middle of nowhere: they spy tirelessly on each other and ~bitch~ about it afterwards. Ain’t no better form of entertainment, amirite?

2. You had to endure seven (yes, SEVEN) years of single-sex high school, all while wearing a school uniform that does nothing for you. 

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I’m just praying we get some DRASTIC educational reform whenever elections happen.

3. You eat bread and butter (‘dipain diber’) for breakfast. 

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No, not your regular ol’ loaf of bread, mind you. It’s a ‘pain maison’! (High five if you know what this is.)

4. If you’re a guy, you’re into girls with fair skin. 

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The lighter she is, the more beautiful, obviously. Keep your intellect, sass, and dark skin to yourself.

5. If you’re a guy, you also want to date as many girls as possible, but God forbid you marry someone with a history as colorful as yours.  Oh, and your sister isn’t allowed to date.

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Double standards? Never heard of that one.

6. If you’re a girl, you get catcalled on the regs.

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But don’t worry, that only means you’re pretty! In fact, you should be grateful for the attention.

7. You make fun of Indians for their accent and are glad that your ancestors decided to leave India to settle in Mauritius**, so you have a sexy French accent instead. 

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¯|_(ツ)_/¯

8. You’re secretly fanatical about your faith and have used a local religious slur at least once.

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To be honest, it’s a wonder we’re all still living together peacefully.

9. Your phone rings nonstop on the days you receive exam results, since all your relatives suddenly start caring about you.

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I’m sorry, do I know you? Oh right, last time you called was on the day of my O-level results. *slams phone down*

10. If you watch Bollywood movies, “popular” kids think you’re uncool. 

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Because obsessing over High School Musical is so much cooler.

* Gross generalization, probably politically incorrect

** Not all Mauritians are of Indian descent, I know.