Love + Sex, Love

Getting married completely changed my life – but I didn’t see it coming

There was one night in which we had a huge argument because I stole the blanket.

Husband. Hus-band. My husband.

After nearly two months, the words remain foreign to my ears and I still cannot fully believe that I am married. This summer was, without a doubt, the most life-altering one I have ever experienced.

Within a few weeks, I graduated from college, got married, and went on a three-week honeymoon.

Right after graduating in early June, I went into full wedding preparation mode for about two weeks. Remaining true to my procrastination reputation, I saved fairly important things such as purchasing wedding shoes and finding a videographer until the last minute.

On the actual wedding day, there were two things I wish I was warned about: firstly, the bride and groom do not get a chance to eat – every time my husband and I sat down to take a bite of our food, a guest would request a photo; and secondly, by the end of the day your cheek muscles will twitch from overexertion whenever you try to smile.

By the time the wedding ceremony was over we were utterly exhausted and just wanted to get to our hotel room. Nonetheless, our photographer insisted that we head to Central Park to take pictures and for the next two hours we walked around in the humid heat of NYC posing for pictures.

I was wearing a huge white wedding gown with heels and Tosif was wearing a suit.

When we finally reached our hotel, the first thing we did was plop down on the bed and order Chinese food. We spent the next few hours laughing about the events of the wedding and watching random shows on TV.

Our wedding night was definitely not how I pictured it would be (rose petals, anyone?) but it allowed us to de-stress and bring the focus back to preparing for our marriage rather than a wedding.

For our honeymoon, we decided to split three weeks between Europe and Turkey. We started in Paris, and then went to Rome, Naples, Athens, Santorini, and ended in Istanbul. In retrospect, we were being a bit too ambitious and probably should have focused on two cities because it was indeed hectic flying out every few days.

Despite our crazy travel schedule, the honeymoon itself was full of many intimate moments in which I got to know my husband much better.

Our relationship pre-marriage was a long distance one because he was in school in Chicago and I was in school in Princeton. For our honeymoon, we had to transition from seeing each other once a month to being around each other all the time. We’d joked that we were probably going to get so sick of each other and be at each other’s throats by the end of the journey.

Luckily, we didn’t tire of each other’s company by the end of the trip.

However, I would be lying if I said that there weren’t moments during the trip when we drove each other crazy. There was one night in which we had a huge argument because I stole the blanket (I’ve always been guilty of being a blanket hogger – just ask my sisters). Tosif woke up in the middle of the night shivering and an argument ensued.

Since then, we’ve learned to sleep with two separate blankets.

There was another time when we were arguing about where we wanted to have our joint bank account; I’m a loyal Chase customer and Tosif is loyal to Bank of America.

Despite these arguments, we soon learned that the bumpy moments during our honeymoon were not always a bad thing – after every argument, we learned more about being with each other and improved how we communicate. We quickly grasped the proper way to react when one of us was angry or sad, picked up techniques on how to improve each other’s mood, and constantly conducted “check-ins,” which required asking each other if everything was okay and if things could be better.

We also made sure to occasionally give each other personal “me” time, as much as we love being around each other, we both have lives outside of each other that we cannot neglect.

Now that we’re back in the States, setting up our apartment and getting ready to build our lives together, we’re definitely thankful for what those few weeks abroad have taught us about open communication and sometimes even brutal honesty.

As the saying goes, “if you want to know somebody better, then travel with them.”